As LGB Christians becomes more widely known we are receiving unsolicited true life accounts of how ordinary churchgoers are finding deeply embedded homophobia leads to threats, harassment, and expulsion.
The most recent example, sent by ‘Elliot and Thomas’, a gay couple of 40 years, is an absolute disgrace and a flagrant example of discrimination and bullying.
The CofE parish is in the Midlands. We publish their anonymised account here pending further developments. In the meantime we are supporting their determined efforts to gain redress and justice.
Elliot and Thomas have asked us not to reveal their full names, or their parish at the moment. LGB Christians have spoken to them at length and are in possession of an extensive dossier corroborating all the events that have led to this exceptionally egregious victimisation.
April 2026
I’m Elliot, and my partner of over 40 years, and now husband, is Thomas.
We have been forced out of our home church by new members because of our sexuality, and the priest in charge has not supported us. We had been regular and active members of this church for over fourteen years.
Thomas’ family has been associated with our home church for over three hundred years. He attended there himself as a child with his grandfather, and fourteen years ago we started to attend regularly as a couple. We spoke to the vicar who was very supportive. The church is in the country and all but a couple of the congregation came from out of the parish.
We didn’t hide the nature of our relationship, yet we were welcomed and quickly made to feel part of the church family. While Thomas preferred to take a back seat, as my faith strengthened I started to take an active part in the services as sides-person and reading scripture and prayers. It was a joy to be part of such a wonderful church and to be able to give by serving others. Between us we also wrote and led the remembrance day services for several years as Thomas is directly related to four of the men who died in world war one, and indirectly to the other six.
Just before the pandemic we got a new vicar, and he seemed to be OK. Then, after the pandemic, a new family joined who at first seemed to be a good addition to the congregation. However they soon showed that they weren’t happy with a gay couple being members of the church, and started to make comments to other people, though not directly to us at that point.
Not long after they joined, the lay reader called us to a meeting and told us that we were no longer welcome because others found our presence offensive, though he wouldn’t name them. So we spoke to the new vicar, and he also suggested we find another church. You can imagine how we felt. We argued against this and negotiated a compromise, where I step back from any active involvement and attend as an ordinary member of the congregation.
This worked for a while, but gradually these people and their friends took over all the posts on the PCC, and the role of churchwarden. This emboldened them and they started to get more direct. Thomas is disabled due to ill health, so instead of being in a pew we sit in the disabled seats. We were told to move so their friends could sit there – but we refused. The church holds monthly bring-and-share lunches, we were excluded from these and any other church social activity. Then we were told not to join the congregation for coffee after the service.
Several members of the congregation have told us they’re not happy, and indeed many have now left the church as a result of these people. But no one has stood up to be counted in our support. These people have got bolder to the point where they shouted at us in the church carpark and the church hall.
We stopped attending services, but asked to remain members of the church. But now they have taken us off the register of electors – despite not being able to prove we’ve not been in the last six months – and they will not send us a copy of the preaching rota.
We had hoped that the Church would always be there for us, as a family and a refuge. We are now alone and we have had to seek help from our GP for depression and lack of sleep.
No one, regardless of their gender, race, or sexuality, should be forced out of their home church.
Church should be a place of sanctuary and refuge in times of need, and not a platform for people with big egos.
LGB Christians are here to help
If you have suffered discrimination and bullying or found yourself the victim of homophobia, threats, harassment, or expulsion from a Christian Organisation we’d be happy to hear from you, in confidence.
As a non-for-profit campaign group, managed by volunteers, we are limited in some ways by what we can achieve. However, where possible, we will seek to expose hypocrisy, discrimination and bullying on the grounds of sexuality/sexual orientation in the pursuit of justice and inclusivity.
Write to us: [email protected]
You are not alone. There is help available.
LGBC, April 2026